Total Drama Revenge of The Organization
by AnyfriendofMike's
Summary: Organization is competing this season for their heart! Oh boy...what could possibly go wrong? The members are REALLY out of character. Like, severely out of character. Do NOT flame me! You know, unless you're Axel...


Well, I never learn, do I? As aware of the fact that probably NO ONE will read this as I am, I'm still going to see it through no matter what! Yes, I AM combining Total Drama and Kingdom Hearts once more. Why, you ask? To put it simply, Total Drama Revenge of the Island and Kingdom Hearts have something in common.

Organization 13. A group of thirteen nobodies. How many contestants did TDRI have? Bingo, 13! It's a stupid comparison, I know, but the thought of Organization XII competing for their heart would be completely hilarious! First off, these guys aren't going to be their usual serious selves. Nope, I'm going to make them as gay and stupid as I can! By the by, since Larxene is the only girl, there's gonna be a lot of raping and yaoi moments. Frankly, out of all the yaoi pairings in the world, my favorites are the ones within Organization XII!

Before we start, I'd like to take a quick moment to explain exactly WHAT Organization XII is.

To put it in short, they're a group of incomplete people who wish for one thing; their heart. In Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, however, it is revealed that they DO in fact have hearts, but whatever. Their main goal is to capture as many hearts as they can to complete Kingdom Hearts, a big heart shaped moon.

Members (as I see them :D):

Xemnas: The boss of orgy 13. Rearrange the letters in his name, and what do you get? Mansex!

Xigbar: he gives everyone a hard time, so you do NOT want to mess up around him. Though he seems rather unkind, he's definitely able to be called a friend. He's got a long ponytail and an eyepatch.

Xaldin: What can I say? He just...really likes knives...

Vexen: The mad-scientist. He'd have the cure for cancer by now if Marluxia wasn't constantly raping him.

Lexaeus: Much like B, he doesn't talk a lot. When he does, it's usually something deep. Honestly, he's not the guy to piss off. He could kill someone just by touching them

Zexion: The emo kid. Or at least, that's what everyone calls him. Most of the time, he's got his nose stuck in a book. Speaking of noses, his sniffer is more tuned in than a bloodhound's

Saix: Ah, Siax. When he's around Demyx, he's known as Siax-puppy. Otherwise, he's not that much trouble. At least he's house broken

Axel: Yes, Axel. He's got millions of fangirls. He's the flurry of dancing flames. No, seriously, the guy's, like, made of flames! Yet, things don't usually go his way. For example, if things were his way, Roxas would always be naked

Demyx: My personal favorite next to Roxas and Marluxia. This guy lives to play his sitar. In fact, he's a kid, through and through. Demyx will probably be a child who hasn't grown up for a while, but you know what? That's fine with me! He's the nicest guy in the organization, and everyone likes him. He's easily the most innocent kid, and when the others can't sleep at night, his bed is always open to them.

Luxord: Is he playing cards at the moment? You can bet on it. Guy's got a serious gambling problem. Unfortunately for everyone else, his favorite card game of all time is strip poker. The bastard's a pro at it. Also, he's got the most awesome British accent ever!

Marluxia: Though Larxene is the only girl, Marluxia is the most girly member. Marluxia prides himself on his feathery pink hair, and has the biggest ego in the organization. This pansy has a thing for stick his crotch into...well...everything and everyone. Like Vexen. Especially Vexen. And yet, you've gotta love him.

Larxene: She's definitely NOT the one to tick off. It's like she's the one who invented PMS. She's ticked off all the time, and scares the other members like Demyx and Roxas into hiding. And I swear to God, if you touch her tampons, she WILL castrate you.

Roxas: Mr. Ice cream. He loves his sea-salt ice cream like I love my hot fries. And that's saying something. He spends his time after missions with Axel, trying not to get raped.

And as for returning characters, your host, Chris McLean! Yup, only this sadistic host could torture these pansies! Plus, Xemnas kinda made the organization sign up...sooooo... This season will take place after season six, since five and six are definitely coming. Me do not want trouble...

Yes, Xion will make a cameo. In all fairness, she WAS part of the organization before she died, so I guess it would only be respectable to her memory. Plus, who else would Roxas have ice cream with, right? Ha ha, dark humor... It's been said so many times, guys. He wasn't worried about losing his ice cream, he was worried about losing his only true friend. Geez, get with the freaking program.

With that out of the way, let's sha-start this thing! Mike, if you would do the honors...

**Mike: AnyfriendofMike's does not own Total Drama, Kingdom Hearts, or any of the characters in either domain. If she did, she'd buy a computer that wasn't as slow as crap.**

Chris McLean stood on the docks of Wawanakwa, staring at his gold watch with an impatient scowl. His greedy hands were balled up in fists, and it was apparent that he was upset about something.

"I TOLD Chef to call in! Our timing will seriously be screwed up now! Debbie, where's my latte?!" the host complained. "Can't you people do anything right? Or am I the only one with any brains here?! Our viewers are dumb anyways. They probably won't even notice all of your hair brained flaws!"

"Uh...Chris...you're live..." Tom, the camera man, said off screen.

"Huh?"

"The camera is rolling!"

"Wha-?" Chris looked at the camera with a confused look. His eyes captured the little blinking light on the device, leaving him horror struck. He took a little pause to compose himself. "H-Hey there, guys! What's up, it's the host with the most, Chris McLean!" he recited with his signature smile.

"I hope you're ready for another action packed season of Total Drama!" the host continued, pumping one fist in the air. "We've got an all new cast this season. All the way from their castle in the World That Never Was, we've got Organization 13 fighting it out for their heart!" Chris paused and snickered, as if he were remembering a rather funny joke. "Anyways, let's meet these guys. They're not teens, as we usually have, but not to worry! The drama meter will never go down! And here they are!"

Chris gestured to the water. A boat with the cast was supposed to arrive at that point, but no one came.

"Where are they?! They were supposed to be here by now! Yeah, you see? I told Chef it would ruin our timing, but did he listen? No!" Chris snarled into a walkie talkie. "Sorry for the delay, our cast isn't quite here yet..."

Just then, a boat came rippling across the water. The people on it looked soaked and angry. Only one person, a boy with a ridiculous mullet, didn't appear to be wet. But he had a very guilty and apologetic look on his face.

"Chef, my man, what the hell happened?!" Chris demanded.

"That Demyx kid did something with the water, making us late," Chef glared.

"Yeah, you just HAD to say 'Dance water, dance!'" said Larxene. Demyx winced as she shot daggers at him with her eyes. If only she had real daggers...

"Whatever, let's get you newbies onto teams," Chris said, moving them along.

"Oh, sorry, we don't need teams. We don't really work well together. We were actually hoping we could just cut it right to the merge," Xemnas informed him.

"Yeah, that's great and all, but this is MY show, MANSEX."

Xemnas, grabbed him by his throat. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"He called you Mansex," Axel sniggered.

"Silence, number eight!" Xemnas commanded.

"Don't worry, superior secretly LIKES that nickname," Luxord chimed in. Everyone laughed, save for Xemnas.

"Oh, go make out with your cards, you British bastard!" Xemnas muttered, throwing the host to the ground.

Chris got back to his feet, dusting himself off. "Do that again and I'll see to it that you never get a heart!" he threatened. "Now, we're going to do this MY way! Siax, Xaldin, Lexaus, Zexion, Roxas, Luxord, Xemnas, you're on team one. Marluxia, Vexen, Demyx, Xigbar, Axel, Larxene, you're on team two."

Marluxia, who had stars in his eyes, looked ecstatic. He pulled Larxene and Vexen into a big hug. "Larxene and Vexen are on my team?! YES!"

"Yay Xiggy, you and I are on the same team!" Demyx exclaimed, pulling on Xigbar's arm. Xigbar smiled weakly at the kid, trying to ignore the glare Siax was shooting at him.

"WAIT!" Axel bellowed. "NO! Roxas needs to be on my team!"

"It doesn't work like that," Chris said, shrugging. "No more switching teams. There's more drama that way."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Axel cried. "Oh, you're gonna have some drama, you anti-Axel and Roxas bastard...I promise you that..."

"Siax and Xaldin are on the same team? That's a recipe for disaster," Vexen commented.

"Yeah, two psychos on one team? That's never good," Larxene agreed.

"Well, you can bet that we'll last longer than YOUR team. Any team with a pansy like Marluxia will surely fail," Xaldin snapped.

"Whoa now, let's not get into any drama yet," Chris interfered. "First, let's decide on team names! Team one, you have thirty seconds to decide on a name!"

"Thirty seconds? How can we decide on a cool name in thirty seconds?" Roxas wondered.

"It doesn't matter what our name is! The only name I wouldn't be able to stand would be team Gay-Assed-Fairies," Xemnas said. At the exact moment he said Gay-Assed-Fairies, a sound dinged.

"Team Gay-Assed-Fairies it is!" Chris announced.

"What?! No! I-I didn't mean...I wasn't...I wasn't ready!" Xemnas cried.

"Team two, you're now on the clock."

"Team Gay-Assed-Fairies? I don't see what the problem is! I'd love to be a Gay-Assed-Fairy! Oh! We should be Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy!" Marluxia exclaimed. The sound dinged again.

"Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy!" Chris said. "Oh geez, this is gonna be a GREAT season!"

"MARLUXIA!" his team exploded, glaring at the pink haired idiot.

"What? I picked a great name for us!" he defended himself.

"Okay players, let's get onto the challenge. Today, you're going to compete in a cooking challenge."

"Will there be knives?!" Xaldin chimed in.

"Ha, you'd get along with Chef Hatchet. Yes, Xaldin, there will be plenty of knives!" Chris asurred him.

"Excellent..." the maniac said.

"Anyways, you're going to cook a dish that will be judged by me and Chef. Your score will be a huge impact on part two of the challenge. We have a wide variety of supplies you will find in the mess hall. The only problem is, Chef will be guarding the entrance. However, you're free to use your powers as you chose. The only power you're not allowed to use is that whole black-hole-portal-thingy."

"Sounds easy enough..." Zexion said.

"Are you kidding? If that Chef guy is as crazy as Xaldin, we're doomed," Roxas cried.

"You all have one hour starting now!" Chris said, honking a horn. The teams ran off to find the mess hall.

"Hey Demyx," Xigbar said, catching up with the kid. "You like me, right?"

"Of course!" Demyx chirped. "Well…you know…I have a memory of liking. Since…Since we're nobodies and we can't feel emotions and all…."

"Well...I wanted to warn you about...Siax..."

"Oh, you mean Siax-puppy?"

"Er...Yeah, sure. Well, I overheard that..uh...Siax-puppy was planning to...uh...convince our team to vote you off..."

"What?! B-But...you wouldn't vote me off, would you?"

"Nah, not me. But the others...Well, I'm not too sure you can trust them...How about we form an alliance? I mean, I know how much you want your heart...I can help you out..." Xigbar told him.

"An alliance...? Uh...A-Alright...I'll form an alliance with you Xiggy..."

"Smart move Demyx. But you have to do exactly what I say! If I say jump, you jump. If I say spy on the others, spy on the others. And I say have sex with me...what will you do?"

"Uh...h-have sex with you...?"

"Gnarly."

**Confessional**

Xigbar: Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on double crossing the kid. I just freaking hate Siax! He always cock-blocks me when it comes to Demyx. I've wanted to be with the kid since he joined the organization, but Siax has always hogged Demyx's attention! And even though I'm Siax's superior, he'd probably cream me in a fight! No, I'm probably going to lead the first alliance that doesn't end in deception. Plus, maybe this will bring me closer to Demyx. I friggin adore the kid

Demyx: Can I trust Xigbar? Probably not. He's almost as much of a man-whore as Marluxia. Well, when it comes to me, that is. And yet…I know I'm not supposed to have emotions, but I kinda like Xiggy….

Chris: Yeah, there's something I've gotta tell you about these new guys. They're nobodies, meaning they don't have hearts. If you don't have a heart, you can't feel emotions. However, you might have memories of your original self (the person you were before you lost your heart) feeling these emotions. Memories of loving someone or having a friend are the closest things nobodies have to love. Or something like that. But…the island has never been normal. So…it's possible…that for the first time, these guys will be able to experience true feelings. Whatever. All I know is, there will be gay relationships up in here! And that…is…okay….

**End Confessional**

Eventually, Team Gay-Assed-Fairies arrived at the mess hall.

"Okay Key of Destiny, do your thing," Xemnas said to Roxas. Roxas nodded and summoned his key blade. Once the key was in his hand, he cast a beam of green light at Chef. Instantly, Chef fell asleep.

"Ha! Sleep spell, never fails!" Roxas chuckled. His team mates patted him on the back, dashing into the mess hall.

"Geez, looks like we have an advantage," Luxord said. "I never thought I'd say this…but I'm glad to have Xaldin on our team. I mean, he cooks most of our meals at the castle…"

"Yeah, but 75% of the time, they stink! Literally!" Zexion argued. Xaldin glowered at the emo.

"Let's just grab the food and get out of here!" Xemnas ordered them. Soon, they passed by Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy with armfuls of food.

Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy gasped as Team Gay-Assed-Fairies ran past them.

"The other team is ahead!" Demyx pointed out.

"No dip, mullet-boy!" Larxene snapped. Then, the team heard a groaning noise. Rubbing his head, Chef stood up from the ground.

"Oh great, now Chef is awake!" Xigbar groaned.

"Guys, shut up! I've got a plan! Marluxia…I need you to grow a vine…" Larxene whispered.

"Uh…I don't know how that'll help…but…." Marluxia pointed at the ground. Instantly, a vine began creeping up. Using all of his concentration, Marluxia made the plant grow to a tremendous height.

"What now, Larxene?" he asked.

"Bind the plant around the guy's arms and legs, hun," Larxene told him.

Slowly but surely, the plant wrapped itself around the chef. Chef, who was oblivious to all of this until it was too late, cried out.

"Hey! What the-"

"Let's go team!" Axel exclaimed, barging into the mess hall. They erupted from the building with several cans and boxes of food.

Down by the beach, they found a large cooking area complete with counters, drawers full of forks and knives, stoves, ovens, and several kitchen appliances.

"Wow, this place is better than the kitchens back at the Castle That Never Was…" Demyx said in awe.

"Yeah, like you've actually ever cooked in it! I've never seen YOU cook, fag!" Larxene exclaimed.

"Hey!" Xigbar defended Demyx. "If you've got a bone to pick with Dem, you've got a bone to pick with me! The kid hasn't done anything to you, so back off!"

"Oh! Oh, no! You did NOT just say that! Oh, you're going to GET it! Prepare to get your ass kicked, you old fag!" Larxene yelled. The two growled at each other, then started to brawl.

BACK WITH TEAM GAY-ASSED-FAIRIES…

Xaldin screamed as the casserole he was making burst into flames. Luxord, who was freaking out, blew lightly on the flames, making them burn higher and hotter.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Xaldin screamed. "HOLY FLAMING PANTIES!"

"Throw it in the lake!" Luxord suggested, panicking.

"Are you kidding?! It's all we've got for the challenge!" Xemnas yelled.

"Well what are we supposed to- HOLY MOTHER F-ING CRAP THAT IS THE HOTTEST SH-T IN THE F-ING DAMN WORLD!" Xaldin screamed as the casserole burned holes in his oven mitts and touched his skin. Lexaus smothered the fire, reducing it to nothing. Crying softly, Xaldin rocked back and forth, clutching his burnt hands.

Chris appeared on the scene and almost died laughing. Xaldin was being comforted by Zexion and Lexaus, Axel was winking at Roxas, Xigbar was being maimed by Larxene, Demyx was scratching Siax behind the ears like a dog, Marluxia was raping Vexen, Xemnas was trying to pull Marluxia off of Vexen, and Luxord was trying to watch it all at once.

"Time's up!" Chris announced. All at once, everyone stopped moving.

"wut?" Xigbar asked.

"Wait- we didn't even cook anything!" Larxene protested.

"Well maybe you shouldn't been trying to kill Xigbar this whole time!" Chris snapped. "Since you've got nothing, your score is a zero. Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy, your dish looks…unedible….so I give it a one."

"Great, we're bound to lose!" Axel whined.

"Yup! Remember when I told you that your score would impact part two? Well, part two will be an eating challenge! Since you guys got a score of zero, you will be dining on Cockroaches, rotten cabbage, Owen's old shorts, maggots, and fish eyes!"

Marluxia almost vomited just by the thought of all of these things combined.

"And Team Gay-Assed-Fairies, you will be dining on soggy cereal, dust, vinegar, and stale crackers."

"You know…it seems…do able…." Xemnas said thoughtfully.

"That's what she said…" Luxord smirked.

"Alright teams, you each will report to the mess hall, grab a bowl of your slop, and chow down. The first person who hurls loses the challenge for their team."

Each nobody had their bowl. Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy looked horrified at what their bowl held.

"You will start eating…NOW!" Chris announce.

Everyone dipped a spoon into their bowl and stuck it in their mouth.

"Ugh! This is the most disgusting crap I've ever eaten!" Xigbar moaned.

"It's like this slop is stabbing my soul!" Demyx agreed.

"I…I can't feel my taste buds…!" Larxene whimpered.

"L-Lucky you!" Vexen cried.

Marluxia could only cry silent and heavy tears.

Things were only slightly better on Team Gay-Assed-Fairies.

"Mansex…if you ever sign us up for another game show…I will destroy you…" Siax muttered.

"DON'T call me MANSEX!" Xemnas yelled.

"Fine, I'll call you sexman. Happy?"

"NO!"

"Okay team, we've got to take another bite!" Demyx urged.

"No way…if I do…I'll surely puke!" Xigbar moaned.

"C'mon Xig, do it for me!" Demyx coaxed him.

Shaking with sobs, Xigbar swallowed several spoonfuls.

"I'd…I'd rather buy tampons for Larxene…" he sobbed between mouthfuls.

"Wow, those are the words of a broken man," Axel remarked.

By her fifth spoonful, Larxene was done.

"Oh no…I'm…I'm gonna…." She never finished her sentence as she suddenly spewed up the contents of her stomach.

"Oh…you are so…eliminated…." Xigbar threatened her. Demyx patted his back, letting him know that he was voting with him.

"And the Gay-Assed-Fairies win! Wow, that's a sentence I never thought I'd say!" Chris mused.

Team Gay-Assed-Fairies cheered, while Team Marluxia's-Sperm-Is-Sexy glared at Larxene.

**At the elimination ceremony…**

"Alright…you've cast your votes…those who are staying tonight are Demyx, Xigbar, Axel, and Vexen. Marluxia, Larxene, which one of you will be staying?"

Marluxia looked smug as Larxene looked worried.

"And the player who is safe tonight is….Marluxia…."

"Nice! Real nice! Y'know, you all can….go F-CK yourselves!" Larxene yelled.

"You got what was coming to you, bitch," Xigbar shrugged. Larxene zapped him with a lightning bolt.

"Yeah, and YOU got what was coming to YOU too!" Larxene smirked. She was led away by Chef, who sent her flying into space in a Gummi Ship.

**After the ceremony…**

"Hey Xiggy," Demyx greeted the older man, sitting next to him on the cabin steps.

"Hey Dem…"

"So…Thanks for…you know, standing up for me before…" Demyx thanked him.

Xigbar took a deep breath. "Chris…told me something interesting…"

"What was it?"

"He told me…that the island provided us with a temporary heart…meaning…we can finally feel emotions…I remembered earlier that Xaldin was crying, something we nobodies can't do…"

"Whoa…" Demyx breathed. "So…we can feel emotions again? You know, as long as we're on the island?"

"Yup…I suspect Xemnas is gonna kill Chris and take over the island…"

"But…how are we gonna complete our plan of turning into Xehenort if we do that?"

"Exactly! Superior doesn't think about these things! And we still need Sora…So…you can't tell anyone…" Xigbar warned him. "I'm only telling you this because…."

"Because why?" Demyx pressed on.

"Because…I might…like you…."

"Xiggy…"

"Demyx…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make things awkward…I'll just…" Xigbar stood up and headed for the cabin door. "You should get some sleep. Who knows what Chris has in store for us tomorrow…"

**Chris" Oh don't worry Xig, I have plenty planned for tomorrow! Heh ha! Who will be next? What sort of gay things will orgy 13 get into in the future? Find out next time on Total Drama Revenge of the Organization!**

**A/N I know they were out of character, but who cares?! No flames, just…please….I want this to be a fic I actually enjoy writing!**


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